2012년 5월 6일 일요일

3rd version. Three sides story

Narrative-3rd perspective

The last game of the World Series 2014 is heading toward an end, the 12th inning. The Saint Louis Cardinals is winning a game by achieving three points, and the New York Yankees earning two points. The New York Yankee is on the offense side, and the Saint Louis Cardinals is on the defense side. Victor Manuel Cartel, a winner of “closer of the year” in last year, is heading toward the mound with loud claps from his fans. He gets 5 balls to throw on the mound.
“Look at that ball, it records 102 mph”

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
“Can you hear the sound of the fans screaming? This stadium is full of shouting and yelling”

Now a judge declares play ball, and the batter, Brett Gardner, is entering batter’s box.

Victor Manuel Cartel easily makes one out count by a flying ball, and he also easily makes second out count by a strike out. So, the only one out count is left for Saint Cardinals to win this game. And everyone in the stadium is screaming out one name “VICTOR MANUEL CARTEL.”

Cartel! Cartel! Cartel!

A 3rd batter from Yankee side, Robinson Cano, hit a ball after a tight match with Victor Manuel Cartel.

“Two outs and one runner in a 1st base, we see the hope”
“The baseball game really starts at 9th inning with 2 outs”
“Who is a next batter?”
Yankees’ fans are full of madness after this hit.

Finally, a batter stands on the batter’s box surrounded by a name “Victor Manuel Cartel.” It’s a Derek Jeter. Now Yankees’ fans are screaming “homerun” as Derek Jeter comes out.

Homerun! Homerun! Homerun!

Now a battle of the century is going to begin.


★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★


Victor Manuel Cartel-1st perspective
          
I made two outs. Although other people think I easily made two outs, I don’t think so, it wasn’t easy. First out that I made was by fly ball, and that ball almost went back the wall. It was very lucky that wind helped me to resist ball from going back to the wall. If there was no wind, I think that ball would be homerun. Also, it was a hard process to make a second out. To make a strike out, I and the second batter went to full count. This means that some batters in Yankees won’t be fooled by my breaking balls.
But, I only need one more out to end this game. If I end this game, I can be a hero. Then, I can raise my annual income and I can be a super star. Then I could live happily with my family after I retire from this place. I need money! My kids are growing and I think I can’t afford their college fees when my kids attend colleges. I want to win this game as fast as I can. I want to see my wife.

Oh, I can hear my fans shouting my name.

 Cartel! Cartel! Cartel!
What a nice sound to hear!

But I can hear disturbing phrase: homerun.
Homerun Jeter! Homerun! You can do it.

Homerun? Do these Yankees’ fans think I will give a homerun? Who am I? I am a Victor Manuel Cartel who won “closer of year” last year. No, no I shouldn’t think about those disturbing words, I should only think about this game, a winning game. Let’s just throw a ball. But that shouting really disturbs me. And I really want to win this game, and want to see my wife.

…………Oh $hit?! The ball slipped down from my finger. Oh no!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Derek Jeter-2nd perspective

           It’s the last chance for Yankee to win this game. I am the hope of the Yankee. If I am out, my team can’t play anymore, we lose.

Homerun! Homerun! Homerun!

What? Are these guys mad? Do they think I can hit a homerun from a Cartel? I can’t hold this suppression. Everybody is watching me. But I think I can hit his ball because I have my secret weapon. When I consume this weapon, I can feel the power of my muscles. And it makes me stronger than before.

Cartel! Cartel! Cartel!

So disturbing noise. Can Cardinals’ fans shut their mouse up? Why they are so noisy? I can’t concentrate on the pitcher. I think I have to make a homerun to shut the fans’ mouths. So fXXXing disturbing. If I become hero of the Yankee, my annual income will rise or other teams will give me better orders than the Yankee. HHHH….What a great life will it be. I can’t stop thinking that. And I feel so great because of my secret weapon.

Uh? The ball is coming toward the center of the strike zone. Can I make a homerun?

Kkkkkkangggggggg

Homerun or foul?

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Narrator-3rd perspective

Derek Jeter hit the ball and it’s going far far behind.

IT’S A HOMERUN. HOMERUN.
Derek Jeter made it. He is a hero of Yankees. He made Yankee to win the World Series.
But it seems that Derek Jeter hit the ball accurately enough to make a homerun? Does he have power to make homerun only by his wrists’ power? This homerun gives me some curiosity.
Nevertheless, he made his team to win the World Series.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Victor Manuel Cartel-1st perspective

Kkkkkangggggggg

Is it homerun?
Really is it homerun?
Do I lose the game?

Something came out from my eyes. And I can’t hear the sound. It feels that I am alone on the mound. I have no power to assist my body.

Oh no... My dream... My money…are gone.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Derek Jeter-2nd perspective

Wow… wow… I hit a homerun. It seems that I didn’t hit the ball accurately. I think that STEROID really works. If I can use steroid, I think I can always make a homerun per game. My dream and money are now achieved. God Bless My Life.

Ah????? Who the hell are you?? Why are you guys taking me to the lab?? No.. I have to celebrate my life… No..

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Narrator-3rd perspective

OH..The steroid is found in Derek Jeter’s body. He used banned drug. How he can do this illegal thing? He is a man without sportsmanship. I think he can’t play as a baseball player on the field.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Victor Manuel Cartel-1st perspective

Oh what? Jeter used the steroid? WHAT THE FXXX? He messed up my life..He took away money and honor from me. If he used the steroid, are there any possibilities that can overturn the result of this final game? Please…I have to win…

After few days..

Derek Jeter went to jail and he sentenced permanent suspension as a baseball player.

댓글 1개:

  1. A bit better, but still heavy on dialogue rather than story, and its a scattered reading experience. The steroid thing is a bit of a twist, but we are still missing narrative focus - the second person "you" especially. As much as baseball is an awesome sport, a simpler approach to this assignment might have been better. The drafts you have played with have minor changes, but the same issues occur.

    답글삭제